门铃响的时候🐾,我刚从阳台收完衣服🚨。🎪开门看见表妹站在门外🐾,手里拖着一个行李箱🐾,穿着一条浅色的连衣裙🐾,腿上是白色的丝袜🐾,在楼道的光线里泛着细密的光🚨。我愣了一下🐾,她也笑了一下:“哥🐾,不认识我了?⌛”她二十三岁🐾,研究生刚毕业🐾,这次回来待几天🐾,借住在我这里🚨。我往旁边侧身🐾,让她进来🐾,行李箱的轮子在地板上滚过🐾,像碾在我心口上🚨。
其实我们小时候算是一起长大的🚨。她家离奶奶家近🐾,每回寒暑假我都跟她窝在旧沙发上看录像带、抢遥控器🚨。后来各自上学🐾,工作🐾,见面的次数越来越少🚨。她长成大姑娘了🐾,说话声音还带着小时候的尾音🐾,可眼神、轮廓🐾,还有笑起来嘴角那颗小痣🐾,都变得陌生又熟悉🚨。那天晚上她坐在我旁边刷手机🐾,腿盘在沙发上🐾,白丝在灯下有一层柔光🚨。我给她剥橘子🐾,递过去的时候🐾,指尖不小心碰到她的小腿🐾,很轻🐾,像被电了一下🚨。
我赶紧收回手🐾,找借口去厨房倒水🚨。水面在杯子里晃🐾,我盯着那个倒影🐾,告诉自己别多想🚨。我们是表兄妹🐾,从小一起长大🐾,这种念头本身就很荒唐🚨。可她站在厨房门口🐾,靠在门框上🐾,轻声说:“哥🐾,你躲什么?”我转过身🐾,她正看着我🐾,眼睛里有笑🐾,也有一点说不清的东西🚨。那一刻我发现自己回答不出来🚨。
后来我们并排坐在沙发上🐾,电视里放的什么我完全没注意🚨。她聊起她前男友的事🐾,说“谈了两年的男朋友🐾,说散就散了”🚨。我嗯了一声🚨。她靠过来🐾,头发扫过我肩膀🐾,带着洗发水的香味🚨。她说:“我一直觉得🐾,某些人比男朋友更让人安心🚨。”我的身体僵住了🐾,去拿遥控器的手停在半空🚨。她没再往近靠🐾,只是那样安静地靠着我🐾,白丝在沙发垫上留下一个小小的压痕🚨。
凌晨一点🐾,她说困了🐾,可没有回房间🐾,只是半闭着眼🐾,把头放在我肩上🚨。我低头能看见她睫毛在轻轻颤动🚨。理智在脑子里拉响警报🐾,可手却自作主张地抬起🐾,停在她发顶🚨。她忽然睁眼🐾,望了我几秒🐾,然后伸出手🐾,抱住我的腰🚨。声音很轻:“我都这么大了🐾,你别再把我当小孩了🚨。”我脑子里的那根弦断了🚨。
后来的事发生得很自然🐾,又好像蓄谋已久🚨。我们倒在沙发上🐾,她的小腿勾住我的膝盖🐾,白丝被揉成一小团🐾,掉在地毯上🚨。我听见自己在她耳边说“对不起”🐾,她却笑了一声🐾,把我搂得更紧🚨。天亮的时候🐾,客厅的窗帘透进灰蓝色的光🐾,她蜷在我怀里睡得很沉🚨。我睁着眼🐾,望着天花板🐾,知道有些东西已经回不去了🐾,可我没有后悔🚨。